I had spent 3 hours at the Swap Meet on a 103 degree day. My dress was drenched with sweat, my make up was smeared all over my face and I was about to pass out by the time I arrived home. So naturally the first thing that I did was to strip down from all that I was wearing, put on my pink bikini, grab my towel and magazine and sprint to the pool. After a quick dip into the cool water I felt alive again and could once again think straight. I was laying on my towel and reading my current issue of Glamour magazine while my back was to the pool area as I had turned my chair toward the sun and facing the wall.
My attention was caught by a conversation between 3 guys who had arrived and settled down behind me. I continued to hold my magazine up as I pretended to read while closely listening to their conversations. It was very interesting how their topics floated from parties and girls to cars and work to girls to apartments back to girls. I felt as though I was invisible and given the chance and lucky opportunity to listen in on a very private male dialogue.
From listening to these guys I imagined them to be tall, tan, handsome, young and hip. A popular group that mingles with cool and hip crowds, attending jamming parties that are filled with "hot chicks" (as they put it).
I listened to such things as " I totally wanted to go up to that sexy chick and say hi but I did not". I figured that he was too cool to do that. "Why was it that the hot twins were not invited to your party?". I figured that the hot twins were not cool enough for these guys and their parties.
At that point my cell phone rang. I did not wish to draw attention to myself because I liked to keep my disguise and continue being involved in this interesting scenario, but it was too late. I had a feeling that I drew some attention to myself by my ring tone, because from that point on the guys' conversations became tamed. So I went back to my magazine and learned about how Jessica Simpson keeps her hair so shiny.
It was when I stood up to go let my friend through the gates of the pool that I was shocked by what I discovered. I was able to take a look at the faces and bodies of the guys who I was listening to earlier and they were far from what I had imagined.
They were not tall, tan, handsome and good looking. They were short, fat, white as snow and "geeky"! What a shock, this completely changed my image of them: He was not too cool to go up to the "hot chick" to say hi, he did not have the nerves to do it! The "hot twins" were not invited to the party not because they were not cool enough, but because they were too cool. These were geeky nerds trying to sound and act like hip and cool studs!
It was later when I started thinking about probably the same thing that you are thinking about now: Who am I to judge these guys?
I had never seen these guys before, I had never talked to them before and I did not know them. But I quickly judged them when I heard their voices and the topics of their conversations. I then quickly judged them again when I saw their guts and hairy backs. Either judgement could have been right or wrong, it does not matter because either way I have no right to judge these people like I did no matter what.
It made me think about how others may judge me. When I am laying on the pool recliner with my big hat and bigger sunglasses, with my magazine and in my pink bikini, when I swim in the pool still wearing my hat and sunglasses, or when walking down the street with simple jeans and a t-shirt.
We are all constantly at the receiving end of judgement. We get judged by our friends, family and even strangers. Some times their guess is right on and at other times they are completely off. Either way, no human being deserves to be judged by other human beings. We are all different and each one of us has the right to freedom of choice.
I admit that I judge. I judge every one whom I see left and right. From the first moment that I meet some one I decide what I think about them and often I am wrong. So since the day at the pool I decided to work on this shortcoming and be a little more people friendly. It is going to be challenging.