I was deeply angered and disrespected by the fact that a supervisor at my work was wearing a sweatshirt, sandals with socks and had frizzy hair during a meeting. I snapped at my team for not completing their paperwork in a timely manner and was furious at my co-worker for taking my regular parking spot.
While driving I did not let cars pull in front of me for the life of me and I had steam coming out of my ears when I was stuck behind the little Asian woman in a mini van who was only going the speed limit. I could almost scream when I hit every single red light on my way from home to the freeway (there are 11 lights).
I was extremely annoyed at my friend for leaving me too long of a message on my cell phone voice mail and I hated the neighbor for talking outside of my window.
Every single thing my husband did and said sat on my last nerve and frustrated me to the point that I did not wish to speak to him. I wondered how he has the audacity to leave his shoes where they would trip me. I was deathly angry at him for using my magazine as a coaster, eating chips and breathing too loudly!
The breaking point was when I was balling my eyes out as a result of my husband not being excited to go to the grocery store with me. I was genuinely distraught believing that I have a horrible life and wondering why I married this guy! I mean how could he not want to go shopping with me on a Sunday night when he is relaxing under the throw on the couch? The poor guy was standing by my side wondering for the love of god why the hell I am crying so hard. He has no idea what is wrong with me and of course I am not telling him why, because he should know and he will not understand anyway!
The next day was the 28Th day of my month, when "khaleh goli" or "auntie rose" visits. That is when I realized why I had been having such a "difficult" life in the past few days (oops).
It is not just I who suffers on the week preceding the "visit", but it is every one and any one who I associate with or come in contact with, especially the unfortunate ones who I am closest to. It is as hard for me as it is for them, actually feeling and believing the negative thoughts. The anger, the hurt, the frustration and the extreme annoyance is real.
Now to think that every single month for one whole week I and every one around me suffers, how fair is that? I keep reminding myself that "this" is good for my health and it is the nature of life. I remind myself that the connection between my body and the universe should bring me closer to the earth and the sun and the freaking moon. It does not help. After the emotional roller coaster I have to deal with the excruciating pain, the bloating and the utter discomfort, let alone the mere disgusting nature of the entire process. How could any one expect me not to strangle the cashier for taking her sweet time?
I am all about fairness and equality. I also know that these are the cards that we have been dealt with as women and we have to live with it and suffer. However, I believe that us women going through all of the tortures of life such as this are entitled to a prize, special treatment or any sort of reimbursement, just to make life fair. I do not know what or how but as god (or this laptop) as my witness I will find a way to make this world and this universe fair. You wait and see!