Saturday, November 17, 2007


"I think that I would miss you even if I had never met you.", "You are my every thing and I am nothing with out you", "Life with out you means nothing to me", "No one will ever love you as much as I do and by being with me you will make me the happiest man in the world", "The joy that being with you brings to me is so much more than I have ever known", "You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and outside", "I can not live a happy life with out you in it", "I know every curve of your face and every sparkle of your eye"...
The warmth and pleasure that these words bring to a woman is not measurable. These are the words that create tingles all over a woman's body, a rush of heat that fills her from head to toe, and brings flutter to her heart. It even manages to welcome a tear or two into her eyes. These are words that most women live to hear, wait for, long for, and dream of. Words that will make her give all of herself to the man who is presenting them to her, body and soul. Words that will make her weak in the knees and light in the heart.
Most women have heard these words spoken, said by men sincerely and lovingly. It has come from across the room through a little glowing box called television. Even though the words are not directed to them, yet it manages to still effect their body and mind by the rush of blood and the increased heart rate. However, all of these symptoms are followed by a number of alternate feelings. Feelings such as sadness, sorrow, hurt, and most of all, longing. Longing to hear these words spoken to them directly by a real live man. A man who is outside of that box in the flesh, warm and solid, sincere and in love with them. A man who truly means all that he confesses and will continue to always confess his love to her. She longs for the moment when he is looking so deep into her eyes with the least distance possible between their lips and the whispers of never ending, soul consuming, ever lasting love.
Yes, love, it is what women want, need, and desperately desire. They will commit to almost anything if they know that they will find the true love of their life. They will travel across the world, sacrifice friendships, over look family, and let go of their own individuality in order to reach the kind of love they believe really exists. The kind of love they see in movies.
In real life, how often have we seen a man chase a woman down a busy freeway on his motorcycle in order to stop her from leaving, like Mathew McConehy did? In real life, how often have we seen a man wait two years for a woman who he had never been with, as Keanu Reeves did? In real life, how often have we seen a man run in the snow across town to ask a woman to stay with him, as Dermot Melrhony did? In real life, how many times have we seen a man fly from NY to France to confess his love to a woman who had moved on, like Mr. Big did? Not often!
Even after these utterly romantic gestures, does any one ever think of what happens after the credits start to roll up on the screen? Is he going to continue to shower her with those lovely words? Will they live happily ever after or will he start to ask her to stop suffocating him and to leave him alone?
The damage that these movies present to women is severe. Women will believe that the dramatic and heroic love really does exist. Their hopes will be high and they will continue to search for the dream. It is sad when it only ends with disappointment, heart break, failure and sadness. He will not chase after you, he will not rehearse poetic words for you. And if by chance you are one of the lucky ones who finds a man who does act in such a way, know that it will end, he will stop. He will stop holding your hand, he will stop putting his hand on the small of your back, and he will stop cherishing your every move.
Just remember that it will not look like the way it does when it comes out of the shiny box right before the credits roll up!


Eiman Z said...

I had no idea you wrote a blog Shabnam joon! I'll reply in kind with my thoughts on this matter.

I agree that the movies give a false impression of life many times and give women high hopes that the man of their dreams will sweep her off her feet with flows of affectionate words and never-ending love.

This is actually a possibility, however. There are two factors that could create such a possbility: one is luck, so there's no need to focus on that since its unpredictable. But the other factor is the woman's character. She needs to be smart about the men she picks in her life. Even male friends. Becasue everyone in your life affects you in someway, and if you let men with weak character into your life, your own character turns weak as well. If, however, you embrace the value of a man with a strong sense of self and strong values, then you will build that portion of character that makes a romantic man want you. Consistently taking care of yourself, proud and hard working, making it through the troubles in life with grace and dignity, not blaming others for your sadnesses, appreciating your man when he deserves it, and showing that appreciation, being romantic yourself, supporting and believing in your man even when he doesn't believe in himself. Not allowing for external forces to get in the way of your heart and his, constantly showing your love and affection, yet without any sense of desperation but a more a sense of confidence and focus on the vows and commitments that mean so much to you, and to him. Picking your battles when it comes to differences. Do you really want to complain about him not fixing the drain when he's just come from a failed business meeting?

Above of all this, I think, is the need to have a deep long established friendship that when the romance dies down (which always does every now and then), to fall back on the 'friend' version of your man, and working your way back up again, slowly, and faithfully.

sanaz said...

made me think...