Thursday, November 1, 2007

The story of my nose

As I was sitting in the airplane looking out the window I shed the last tears ever shed for the loss of a certain part of my life. Later I would think of that exact moment as the start of a new chapter in my story book. The plane was still on the ground and I was leaving the country. I was alone and traveling to the other side of the earth. I had to go far and away in order to start fresh and to never look back. As soon as the plane accelerated on the runway my tears dried up and I never cried about that heartbreak ever again!
That summer I spent two months in my native country and that summer went into my book as the best summer of my life. It had been 7 years since my last visit to Iran, things had changed, and I had grown up! I traveled to many different parts of the country, I was reunited with my relatives, I visited with the friends who I had kept in touch with since elementary school, and I made new friends. Among all of those things there was one thing that I did which became a major decision/change/step/event in my life: I went under the knife and had a major surgery. It was called Rhynoplasty, or in simpler terms a "nose job"!
Growing up I never had a second thought about my nose, even after adolescence when the bone grew a little bump on top of the crown. It was a very small bump that never succeeded at bothering me. I definitely did not belong in the group of those who hated a feature on their face throughout their life and eagerly awaiting for the opportunity to alter it. When I was in Iran that summer I noticed all of the perfect noses, the bandages on many girls and boy's faces, and the fact that this procedure was so common. Yet, the thought of my own nose did not creep into my mind, It was never even considered. One day I found myself among a group of ladies who were deeply involved in a conversation about some one's nose surgery, and that is how it all started. Casually one of them looked at me and asked "Have you ever considered nose surgery"? I laughed and said "no". The second lady looked at me and said "I think it would suit you". I dismissed it at that moment, but a seed was planted in my mind which grew and grew to the point that two weeks later I was lying on the surgery bed. After that conversation I could not stop thinking about the idea. The amazing part was that I did not take much time to consider the idea and the very important decision was quick and with out ponder. The vedict was yes.
The first thing I needed was money, so I made a call to America. I explained the situation to my father and he said the sweetest thing to me. He said "We want you to be happy, so if you promise that when you come back home you will not see a certain some one any longer you may do this". With out hesitation I accepted since that was my plan. The money was given to me right away. Now I needed to find a surgeon. With some help from others and after 5 interviews I chose my surgeon and set the date. The date of the surgery was within two weeks of the planted seed!
I was driven to the doctor's office early in the morning. I did not experience any worry, anxiety, fear or doubt. I felt excited and ready. I had decided that I will stay awake during the procedure with only inducing numbness to the noted area. This way I will avoid the hospital. The way I did it was very similar to visiting the dentist but less painful. It was a regular office, a small and simple room with a single bed in the middle. I laid on the bed and was surrounded by the team: the surgeon, a nurse and an old man who was in charge of the numbness. They stuck an IV in my arm and laid a very thin cloth on my eyes where I could see the ceiling light through it. Then there it was, a shadow of a very large size needle, which penetrated twice on each side of my nose. That was the first and only severe pain that I felt until after the surgery.
During the procedure I had conversations with the team working on me, as I was laying on the bed. Meanwhile my face was ripped open and bloody. We talked about Googoosh, since that was the time she had just left Iran and was having her first concert in Canada. We talked about my major in school and whether I believed that the surgeon was "crazy" or not. I heard the crack of bone breaking, I heard the filing of the bone, I felt blood roll down my cheek and it being wiped off by the nurse, and I continued to swallow gulps of blood. At times when I felt uncomfortable, the old man would place his kind hand on my knee and stroke it; that simple act calmed me greatly. Within half an hour they were taking my hand and walking me to the next room. It was so fast that I mistakenly thought that they were taking a break and was worried about things falling out of my face when I stood. We were out of there within one hour!
The second and last time I experienced pain was in the car. During the time it took to drive from the doctor's office to the pharmacy the numbness wore off. The pain was so strong that I could not stop crying! My poor cousin was so panicked that he illegally parked the car (not too out of the ordinary in Iran) in front of the Pharmacy and ran back with those wonderful white pills and water for me within seconds. I was then very happy!
Back at the house every one was in shock to see me talk, smile, laugh, walk as if there never was a surgery. Seems that usually when patients go through this kind of surgery they are in bed for at least the first two days with swollen eyes and are not able to talk, let alone smile. During my recovery I had minimal marks on my face, and the discomfort was very low. I was able to enjoy my vacation to the fullest even with the bandages on my face.
One week later I was back at the doctor's office ready to take off the bandages. Yet again I did not feel any worry, anxiety, fear or doubt. Yet again I was excited and ready. The nose turned out perfect!
I came back home to America with a new nose, and as a new and improved person. Since I had been away for two months and my nose had not been a major disaster before, many people did not notice the change. When told, some were shocked as to why I did it and that it was not needed. Most provided me with great compliments. I could see the difference and I was happy. The difference was not only in how I looked, but it was in how I felt and what the change had done for me personally. It was a symbol of a new life, a new face who had thrown some trash away from her old life and was ready for the new chapter.
Later when I looked back at that time I realized that the entire process was not "normal". The way it started, the way I easily and quickly made this important decision and how easily it all fell into place. The lack of anxiety, nervousness or fear about the procedure and the results. The way my recovery was so easy and out of the ordinary. And how it actually turned out so perfect! It could have been because I was in a different world and in a different state of mind, or it could have been other forces. I came back to my life with a new energy and an improved attitude. Overall, that was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life, physically and emotionally. I have a feeling that there was a reason why it all happened, which was out of my hands! I needed help to get over a hump in my story at that particular time, and a lending hand had been presented to me.

1 comment:

sanaz said...

aaaaaaaaaa........honeyyyyyyy! reminded me of my experience :) vali to yeki khoob taro tameez ke daghoon shodam!