Monday, October 15, 2007

The last thing I remember...

The last thing I remember is that I was a student, I was a trainee, I was an entree level, I was a new comer, I worked any where that would hire me until I can get a "real" job. I tried to get away with things and slacked with coworkers. The last thing I remember is that I had big plans every Friday and Saturday night, comming home at 1:00 a.m. was a short night, I had all the new released CD's, I knew all the young artists and singers, I was popular, I had to be at the party. The last thing I remember I did not have any money, credit cards and student loans were my friends. The last thing I remember is that I was making plans for the future, looking forward to the years to come, not thinking of the now, temporary was a big part of my language and life, I had all the time in the world. The last thing I remember is that I was planning what kind of job I want to work at, what kind of house I want to live in, what kind of car I want to drive, and what kind of person I want to be. The last thing I remember is that I was single and waiting for love, but not looking, and the last thing on my mind was marriage! The last thing that I remember is that I was in my 20's!!
This morning I woke up and realized that I am a supervisor, a SUPERVISOR at a corporation! I have to catch the people who try to get away with things, I have to keep other people from slacking, this IS my "real" job. I realized that now I live in the house I wanted to live in, I drive the car I wanted to drive, but am I the person who I wanted and want to be?
Today I do not have plans every Friday and Saturday night, today when I go to a club all I can think about is going home, taking those heels off, getting into my sweats and drinking tea, TEA!!! Who is this person? Today I do not know those names on those new shiny CD's at the stores, I can not recognize the songs on the radio and I just am not able to match it to a memory. Today I can buy most any thing I want and not use a credit card! Really? Today I look down at my hand and I see a rock on my left ring finger, I call some one my HUSBAND!! Are you serious? Today I realized that I am living in the future! The future that I was making plans for, waiting for it to come, when did it get here? How did it get here? What happened? Who did I turn into? The person who I used to think has no life! the person that goes to work 9-5 and going to the movies is their Friday night out, who watches TV at night instead of being out with friends at a coffee shop or a bookstore. The person who rather spend their time with their family at home than going to a bar, the person who actually likes to cook! Is it really me? Do I really have my own plants now? I do! I have my own plants, I water them and they are alive! I get annoyed by loud drunk people, I turn the music down, I knit scarves, I serve jello as desert at my parties, I cant have more than two drinks. The friends that held my hair while I puked alcohol and would call me complaining about their exams are now Managers of companies, Pharmasists, and University Professors, PROFESSORS!!!! I am not in my 20's any more, I am a grown up! What? No way!! I do not remember how it happened? Maybe I am wrong, maybe it is not true, maybe I am dreaming! That's it, this is just a dream! I'm still a young student of life, I'm still learning and I still have things to look forward to! Right?

5 comments:

me said...

deep thoughts....do i relate or doooo i related....

sanaz said...

absolutely dear!!! there is so much more for all of us to see...and I can't wait for all of us to experience the 30s, 40s, and much more together :)

Fargol said...

it was great Shabi... Enjoyed it

Anahita said...

I am touched.

LifeGoesOn said...

Wow...yes, we grew up and it's kind of sad