It is over, done with, finished, we lost, we are out. After we were up 14 points, we managed to only score 3 more before the hideous green and yellow scored over 30 of them. Our heads are bowed down while we go back home and remain there for the rest of the season.
Every Sunday for 4 months I spent four hours watching Matt, Shaun, Dion, Walter, Bobby and many more Hawks. Big, handsome, strong, tall, muscular beings in the beautiful colors of Navy & White. I have spent numerous hours with these boys where I am now very familiar with things such as Dion's scar on his right arm, the dark tattoos covering Tatupu's large biceps, and Shaun's brace on his hand which protects his wrist. I know that Matt is fantastic with short passes, Mo Mo is not afraid to hit the hole hard, and Mike becomes as red as a tomato when he is angry and frustrated.
The way these boys performed each Sunday affected my mood and my attitude for the rest of the day. If they lost the game I was disappointed and sad, taking it out on the store clerk. If they were victorious I was a proud and happy fan, smiling at the barista.
I have become emotionally connected to the team and feel that they let me down personally if they do not "show up" to the game. So last Saturday when the game was win or lose in the ultimate meaning, obviously it was very important to me that they "show up". It was important to me that they play hard and beat the ugly and old QB who needed to have retired 5 years ago! I expected them to dominate, crush and kill the stupid little bitches!
Well, it did not quite work out that way. At first I blamed the heavy snow that was blocking their view and resulting in a very slippery turf, but then it became hurtful to watch. I could not turn away and I could not speak, my heart was breaking into tiny little pieces.
I gave them 4 hours of my life every Sunday for 4 months and this is how they repay me, I thought. I wondered how they could do this to the 12Th man after all of the commitment and love that I have given them. I thought about how we came so far as the Playoffs, victory was so close that I could taste the sweetness in my mouth. I wondered about how they could take that sweetness away from me. And finally I wondered about how they could crush all of my hopes and dreams.
After I came to my senses and remembered that this is only Football and that life goes on even if the Seahawks do not make it to the Super Bowl, I felt better. I guess there are other equally tragic things in the world such as hunger, poverty, and people still wearing washed out jeans. And now I will have to find another resource for my happiness or sadness on Sundays. Something meaningful perhaps, something that I am actually involved in maybe...or not!
Thanks for a good run boys, it was fun. I will see you in your tights in September.